Numb Poem by Sheraly Espiritu

I do want to be a numb
so I can’t feel the pain am feeling inside
the pain blazing throughout my bones
the gloomy shadow of my soul.

Boisterous laughing and driving stupid jokes,
my friends see me as jolly as they thought,
they don’t know that behind those dazzling light,
tears flowing in the middle of the night.

Trying to hide the pain am feeling inside,
Acting like life is one BIG PARTY on the other side,
pretending am ok even though am not,
laughing even though my tears want to flow out.

I need to count a months, years or even a decade,
of healing the wounds of pain,
but the scars will remain
because of playing this tricky game.

I know am not alone,
you are just like me, pretending as a stone,
but even though how hard and strong it is,
there’s a possibility that it will turn to ashes.