Now Is Next To Nothing Compared To Where I've Been Poem by Ella Rose

Lately there have been chances not taken…memories
unforgotten…tearing my soul into tiny pieces rushing
my beliefs toward yesterday's blues….but…
-now is next to nothing compared to where I've been.

I fall sleep in dreams and dream with eyes wide open.
Demons followed me into a life of dependency upon people
and chemicals I was born to deal with. I bled my veins just to feel
and I felt just to heal….but…
-now is next to nothing compared to where I've been.

Tears flow and babies cry and all I can think about is
where I need to be. I live in a town beneath two rocks.
One rock was my laughter and smiles and I lived with
surprising fantasies coming true. The other rock broke my
back and turned me into a monster rough enough to
have poor reliance's…but…
-now is next to nothing compared to where I've been.

I used to be filthy and uprooted between entwined thorns
of dead roses bleeding into the soil. My addictions persuaded
my brain into carrying a need for pain and punishment.
My mistakes are my own and I own my mistakes. I only know
this because…
-now is next to nothing compared to where I've been.