Notes From Paris Poem by Richard Lee

I stayed at the Hilton the Hilton's in Paris
The carpet was Wilton the Pipers were Maris
The people drove Mini's they were all Mini Drivers
The music was winey and really quite aimless
The Compare was Amon and Amon was homeless
The star act called Bennet was seemingly toneless
I was looking for exits and spied an escaped goat
The kid was quite lifeless and lived on a lifeboat
I went to the zoo but the tigers were woodless
The Star Trek exhibit was totally boneless
The meerkats smelled funny while comparing insurance
They said go compare but they lacked the endurance
So on uppers and downers they lived on the edge
But the floor was so shiny - the upper was pledge
I slipped on the deck and the ants were quite anti
The aunts were quite pro but the uncles wore panties
It was all quite bizarre for a weekend in Paris
So I donned my new tweeds who had called themselves Harris
And I called Anna Moss who had lived in the city
She was riding a donkey - I said oh that's a pity
Which was quite incorrect as the front of the horse
Was a shrunken vermouth on a moose on a course
Of strong antibiotics for severe cute angina
Well they said it was cute on the packet, and dosage
Was fully included with the package and postage
The postman was John not the major the minor
The minor was Morris who had shipped in from China
The Chinese were livid and demanded a refund
The notes were all frauds and certainly moribund
On the front posed the Queen with a tentative smile
On the rear was a note IOU from regina
With a message in blue - Paris never looked finer...