Not Getting What You Want Poem by Umasree Raghunath

As a kid, I always wanted new things
But still did not mind sharing the old ones
As a teen, wanted to do a study of my choice
But had to compromise on what could be afforded
As a young adult, wanted to marry the person I loved
But had to align myself to the person family found
As an aspirant social woman, wanted to do my IAS
But my broken neck, spoiled me from going for the exam
As a strong contender, passed my Group IV gazette officer exam
But my application got rejected for I don't know written Tamil
As a person, who always loved to hold the mike
Got selected for Jaya TV newsreader
But the day of audition, ended up with a war at home
As a working woman, wanted to be a journalist
But had to limit with what I got as a counselor
As an aspiring writer wanted to be a media journo
But limited my writings to the organizational magazines
As a mother I always wanted to be a home maker
And do the things of my choice in my leisure
But I never had the chance to do so
As a mother, when I wanted my son to be born
I had no support to let him happen to me in life
With so much of pain, I had to let him go
As a troubled wife, wanted to take a second chance
Run away with the man I found of my passion
But again, something strong stopped me to decide
Cried me in pain for life, but let my child have her father
As a troubled daughter-in-law, wanted to sue my in-laws
But the woman in me, stopped me to take any legal step
As a strong woman with entrepreneur skills, wanted to
Go ahead with my vision of a startup company with a friend
But again, I had to re-align as someone close to me never liked
As a social worker, wanted to fight for old age rights
But I in a helpless situation to help an old aunt failed there too
As a writer, I wanted to write what all I want,
Turning of the masks of people around
But the fear of being in a corporate and bound by SBC, it stops
As a pained soul, feel like shouting loud of my pains and cry
But again, it reminds me that I am in a foreign land and deny
As a maddening woman, wanted to leave everything around
And run away, to my silence, and pain that is heavy in heart
But again, I know I have the work and job to attend
God, when will you give me the strength to do what I want?
And stop from doing everything for others around! ! !