No Longer Blinded Poem by celia hinojosa

If only words didn't hurt so much then I wouldn't be so weak
And actions so foolish that people make weren't so evil
I'd probably have enough strength to rise up and speak
So the things my friends bring upon me is lethal
My heart turns red to black from the mistreatment
But why care I'm just being dramatic right?
Nothing's wrong- sorry for the silent treatment  
Sorry that in my head there's a fight
A fight between stupid things, at least that's what you say
Nothing important- everything's fine and I'm fine
Cause you see my fake smile and emotions everyday
I cry at night pleading  for god to give me a sign
A sign to know everything's going to be alright in the end
I stopped cutting, I stopped talking, I stopped trying
I'm sorry for telling you how I feel, I'm a bad friend
Sorry for all the exaggerating of my sighing
But I'm tired of dealing alone, so sorry for complaining about my feelings
I didn't know it was so inhuman to feel things like sadness
Actually now I'm not sorry for a wanting of healing
Or that I have surrounding me madness
I close my mouth, open my eyes and adjust my ears
So I see the bullshit, hear the commotion, and doge the problems
The trifling people that are blinded from their own reality
But I do feel sorry for myself for being blind myself.