No Childhood Poem by Ms Thang

Grew up too fast
Childhood didn't last
Defiled at the age of 3
Changing my life permanently
Mom wasn't there
Life wasn't fair
Never met my dad
Neglect was all I had
Grew up too fast
Childhood didn't last
16 and pregnant
didn't know what that meant
responsibility aquired
overworked and over tired
child number 2 on the way
just another month - just another day
married and divorced by 23
struggling to find the inner me
trying to identify what love was
yearning to know if I was enough
Searching for my worth in man after man
floating through life waiting to land
3 years later - baby number 3
responsibility was all on me
as life moves on and the clock keeps turnin
days gone by and i'm still yearning
for the childhood i never had
for the chance to meet my dad
into my life walks my superman
claimin if anyone can save me - he can
he sweeps me off my feet
making me complete
i take his last name
and life isn't the same
i thank God for the opportunity
he's given by sending you to me
and as i start to open up and realize
stop hiding and open my eyes
i missed out on my childhood
and though i did the best i could
to be the mom i never had
give my kids my missing dad
and stil i feel inadequately
as i search deeper within me
to find out who i'm supposed to be
sometimes i feel like i have nowhere to give from
the places that were supposed to till me were never done
and so i grasp for an idea of hwo to be
the mom that wasn't modeled for me
I can't play, I can't pretend
scars of the past continuing to mend
i imagine and play how i think a mom should be
but more often than not it doesn't come naturally
nuturing was replaced by survival
when just trying to make it was all
i had the energy to do
and as i'm writing you
i realize that i missed out on my childhood
and i wonder if it's understood
I'm not the parent i want to be
but i'm the best parent that's within me
still making mistakes
but doing what it takes
to be a better mom than i knew
and as i'm writing you
i realize that i missed out on my childhood