' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Needles & Pins Poem by Dónall Dempsey

'Needles & pins...needles & pins! '

'When a woman marries...her troubles begin! '

Me Gran used to sing it
to me Mum

& me Mum
sung it

to me

laugh uproariously
in Cockney Rhyming Slang

if they thought
I was listening

(which I always was) .

'Well, me pot & pan
had me Alan Whickers

off in a flash.

His filter tdips
all over me

Georgie Bests

so I grabbed him
by his Jacobs Crackers

and gave his Hampton Wick
a quick Levy & Francks

& a good old
hat with a bobble

when his deaf & dumb
tensed tight as two ticks

I knew he was ready
to come

& slipped him in
to the old Elizabeth Regina.

His Niagra Falls
exploded

him licking me raspberry ripples
as if they were melting ice cream cones.

It was the best
Oeidipus Rex

...yet!

Needles & Pins.
Needles & Pins.

*******


A QUICKIE GLOSS

Pot & Pan = My old man

Alan Whickers = knickers

Filter tips = lips

Georgie Bests = tits

Jacobs Crackers = knackers(those testy parts of a guy)

Hampton Wick = you know what it equals

Hat with a bobble = gobble

Deaf & Dumb = bum

Elizabeth Regina = yes rhymes with...

Niagra Falls = balls

Raspberryripples = nipples

Oeidpus Rex = sex

When a woman marries
her troubles begin.