Mystery Caller Poem by Ravikumar C.P.

Mystery Caller



Kannada poem by B.R. Lakshmana Rao
Translated by C.P. Ravikumar


Here I was, deeply immersed,
In a love-poem I was composing,
When I heard the anklets of my heroine -
But alas, it was only the telephone ringing.

My wife answered it, as usual, and said
In a tone that bordered on irate,
'It is for you, your highness, she insists -
On speaking to you in private.'

When the caller is a woman
This is a normal reaction from Her:
A scowl adorned Her face
When She handed me the receiver.

Hello, I said and marveled
At the lilting voice, so fragile,
'Are you the poet? ' Ah! Moments like this,
I felt, make it all worthwhile.

'Yes, ' I beamed, but I was not ready,
For the rudeness in her speech:
'Do you have no shame? ' she shouted
Sounding now like a screech.

'What seems to be the trouble? '
I managed to blabber.
'Don't pretend you don't know! '
She said amid much jabber.

Avoiding a stare from the missus, I
Managed to say 'Just a minute, sister -'
When she cut me off,
'You have some nerve, mister! '

Listen, Ma'm, I am a married man
Now, give me a break, will you?
Why pick me for this prank call,
Have you nothing better to do?

She continued: 'How dare you
Call me your Madhubala?
Darling, meet me near the lake!
I say you have gall! Ha? !

Morning, noon or nightfall
There is no time you don't call!
The telephone exchange has traced you
Don't try denying it, pal! '

'Gosh, No, I am not that type,
I have been set up, Madam.'
'In this very voice you called me Eve
And called yourself Adam! '

'I swear on my wife,
Who is standing next to me -
I have no idea who you are
Or your number, honestly! '

'Only because you are a poet!
I will let you go this time,
One more call from you and I
Will drag your name in slime! '

With that, she cut the call,
Leaving me in deathly silence -
I already felt violated,
But feared even more violence! '

My fears came true! The missus
Flew off into a rage!
Helplessly I whimpered,
Like a cuckoo in a cage!

A part of me was beginning to ask
Did I have an unknown darker side?
Perhaps a split personality -
Like Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde?

After a sleepless night, I heard
This warning from my missus,
'No more love poems you shall write!
We have nothing more to discuss! '

The phone rang again! Good heavens!
My wife answered and hissed a scowl:
'It is her! The home wrecker! '
Her mood was clearly foul.

'What do you want from me now? '
I said, swallowing my spit.
'Sir, forgive me! I was mistaken!
They caught the real culprit!

Sir, Please, I want to hear from you,
You have forgiven my faux paus,
'All right, if you insist, but tell me,
What's your name, O caller? '

'Never mind, Sir! ' She brushed me off,
'How does that matter? Ciao! '
Indeed! I suppressed a groan,
Indeed it does not matter now!

Friday, December 19, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: humorous
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Gajanan Mishra 19 December 2014

I like it Ravikumarji, thanks.

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