My Virgin Motherhood Poem by Sairindhree Sen

I was walking all alone on a deserted beach.
Suddenly, I felt a tug on my sari.
Looking back I saw-
My little baby-long lost,
Desperately pulling the fringe of my sari.
He burst into tears and cried out:
“Why did you leave me?
Tell me. Why did you go away?
Please hug me.
Hold me close to you.
Love me, please love me.”

In tears of ecstasy, I pulled him close
And kissed him frantically all over:
“Where were you, my baby?
I cried so much for you.”
He hid his face on my bosom and sobbed profusely,
As I cuddled him and caressed him,
And kissed him every where,
Drenched in incessant tears,
As if it had rained in the dunes after a century.

But suddenly I let go of him in fear:
“My baby, you belong elsewhere.
I must let you go.
I must crush my heart and whip my tears to silence.”

I forced myself away,
And attempted to tear myself apart.
But how could I?
He was desperately holding on to my arms-
With his little fingers,
And imploring:
“Don’t, please don’t leave me alone,
I’m scared.
I’ve come all the way alone.
Searching for you everywhere.”

Holding him in my arms I cried:
I know my darling,
I can see the imprints of your little feet
All over the sands of time and tide.”

He whimpered:
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
Don’t leave me any more.
I feel so scared all alone”

I consoled him with hugs:
“Close your eyes baby,
And you shall see a surprise.”

While he closed his eyes,
I disappeared in silence.
Hiding my tears, strangling my heart.

I could hear his screams behind me:
“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me.
I love you mother, I need you”.

I jerked up in my bed with a shriek,
Crying out half asleep, half awake:
“Don’t leave me, my baby, my cherub,
Don’t leave me….
I shall die…
I shall die without you.”

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