My Only Measure Poem by Louise Tredoux

He went back to work, I fell asleep, when
he returned, I had cleaned the flat and all
the dishes, feeling sleepy, but oh, so happy,
blue eyes shining, seeing his delight, offered
him a pre-dinner drink, a meal for a king, he
loved it, I’m not domesticated, this is special,
he kissed my hands, my face, my everything

I kissed him back, life is GOOD when you have
someone to love, not simply a sex toy, which
is good enough, everyone assures me, but I’m
the old-fashioned kind, while full well realizing
sex per se is meaningless, I love adding it as zest
to my love relationship with Rudi, he is someone
special, far beyond mere romance

Yet, he is romance incarnate, that will change, all
assure me, it is a chemical reaction, short-lived –
just until I conceive and have his child – then he’ll
turn his attention elsewhere, every time I come
across this cynical assessment I cry again, it is so
sad and threatening, why did my mother die when
I was born – did she feel rejected already

Did she know of the cynical opinions to come? I’m
scared of life, Rudi is my breastplate, his loyalty to
our relationship my only measure to determine
where I am …