My Loving Heart.... Poem by MBJ Pancras

My Loving Heart....



(penned in memory of Christina Martin's (Gulnaz) dead Grandma on 11 September 1987)

(Dramatic Monologue)

"She is gone….
Where is she now?
Can anyone tell me?
How she nurtured me from my infancy!
Does anyone know it?
The one who gave birth unto me left me alone,
My dad took me with him when I babbled,
I never knew how I could call the word ‘Ammi'
For, she had left me motherless.
I grew in my grandma's bosom,
I sucked the nipples of her breasts,
And drank not milk, but love with my childish heart,
She bathed me; she dressed me,
All she did what she had wished to her daughter,
Can you envisage my grandma in my utterance?
She recited prayers and scriptures for me,
She sheltered me with her watchful eyes,
And she never let my eyes shed tears.
Now, look into my eyes shrouded with tears,
For, she is gone….
And where is she?
Can anyone bring back unto me?
Nay, nothing is possible with thee,
But everything is possible with HIM.
Will anyone pray unto Him to give back my grandma?
The Word says: ‘Life on earth is only once.'
I was a happy child unto my grandma,
She combed my hair, and kept the locks smooth and fair,
She never let me in hunger and in thirst,
She was in my puberty; she taught me to grow in teens,
She would sing lullaby even in my teens.
We were poor, but rich in honesty.
Some of you may have grandmas like mine.
Yea, my grandma lived in my smiles,
She rejoiced in my laughter,
She never taught me glooms, but joy.
The radiance from her eyes preserved me,
The love of her arms caressed me always
Did you know my grandma cooked food over twigs?
Yea, we were poor, but rich in honesty,
I never felt for a mother,
For she became my mother,
And I became her daughter.

Alas! That day turned bleak veiled with glooms,
The dawn of that day turned dark,
It was an eerie dawn sans the sun.
The clock struck five, but kept still,
And there was no chime at six.
I watch all thy eyes shrouded with tears now,
Look into my eyes!
Can you perceive my grandma into them?
She left me ever on that day,
And I was left motherless again,
I had house, but I lost my Home.
Who could bathe me, wilt my dead grandma?
Who could comb my hair, wilt my dead grandma?
Who could feed me, wilt my dead grandma?
Who could be my life, wilt my dead grandma?
She had been my walking soul,
But that day I looked at her still body.
Her blood splashed upon my purple churidhar,
Yea, she had left me breaking her heart,
Then I learnt her heart had been alive just for me,
And it had turned weak of exertion.

I ran into streets all alone that day,
And the passers-by pitied on me and left,
I had none to fall upon my knees.
I cried aloud into the air and called my grandma.
Can you tell me if she had heard my cry?

The door of my life had been shut,
And I had no way out, but fettered by my fate.

Did you know ‘midst of glooms, a ray of light shined on me?
I was too young to catch the ray of light,
Yet, later the ray of light turned to be the sun.

The old door was shut; the new way gave me life.
It is all in the Book of the Lord.
He is the Good Samaritan in the journey of my life.

Yea, Jesus Christ the Lord hath taken me into His Bosom,
And hath blessed me with a child to proclaim His Name unto all.

Thursday, September 10, 2020
Topic(s) of this poem: lonely,memory,mother,orphan
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
in memory of the dead grandma
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
MBJ Pancras

MBJ Pancras

Chennai Tamil Nadu India
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