My Drugs (2003) Poem by David Joel Rodriguez

My Drugs (2003)

Rating: 4.2


The rough days at work are really hectic
and even brightest days become ecliptic

Barely do I make it through the day alone
And at times with my brain gasket blown

Gone crazy feelings making me sick
but how far will my reality really stick

Thoughts of grief waiting to be known
I yearn the eve just wanting to be home

My convoluted membrane exhales mental tweaks
Inhaling rummy days divulging unique techniques

...

Now, all that I need is some negativity
Great, I'll toss that with some creativity

Go ahead, fill me up with more critiques
Sweat your sourness how I'm incomplete

I'll feed off your thoughts to help me think
Reanalyze my process just to be in sync

So my work is susceptible to the unimaginative
I guess I'll elaborate a tad, just enough to tease

Whatever it may be, the murkiness will disperse
Ironically share what is phrase-less and diverse

...

'high on life...dazed on a shore of glow
the moon reflects with the effects of jello
no tropical storm to agitate the pacifistic waves
no thundering crowd to disturb my nights phase
I stroll the land in a hovering motion...like skates
zoom the ocean breeze before my body wakes
up ahead, two colorful gates blink like eyes
nature observed my habits in odd disguise
my pen unlocks the gate with a tiny chime
gust enters as I leave my moment with time...'

...

Mentally do I unspiral from the nonsense
Hopefully my paper is penned with sense

My eyes gazed at the clock and realized
My trance had peaked and now subside

Where I went, would others understand?
When I came, could I explain firsthand?

What a pinwheel trip that was though
Who'd care If I'd fallen out the window

So did I write down how I've tried my life?
Well, my mind and paper should coincide

...

My paper just so happens to be 'indecipherable'
A line read, 'Why must one be on drugs to travel? '

I slowly stand then immediately stumble
Out of stress and fatigue I softly mumble

'A non-substance voyage without a friend
I am home alone again, will this ever end? '

And it will since it is all conjured in my head
My drugs are everywhere; all have misread

In the end, the sterile will see this as just rambling
Causing my mind to drift and commence drafting

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Howard Savage 07 January 2016

Love is a drug that want damage your mind. keep writing.

0 0 Reply
David Joel Rodriguez 15 September 2011

From a previous critique... ------ This is not complete. You do not give any glues why this is in your life; what is going on here that this is so. When you write, try to explain your writing; try to make sense of what you are saying so the reader has something to pond about; especially in poetry. You can`t state a bunch of facts without giving them weight if you know waht I mean. You have a couple lines that seem to be original. Thank you fr your try. The best to you! ------

1 1 Reply
Romeo Della Valle 12 September 2011

Excellent! Brilliant write that is rich in imagery and fine texture! This poignant write looks it was written in a New York City's atmosphere! Love it because it is deep and thought provoking! Keep inspiring the World with more of your talented writes! Love and Peace for always! Romeo from New York City! ...

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