My Brother’s A Charver Poem by Dan Brown

My brother’s a charver,
he has all the known traits.
He summarizes everything
that everybody hates.

My brother’s a charver,
he’s into all the brands.
He’s lazy, fat and useless,
forever making demands.

My brother’s a charver,
he wears the Rockport shoes.
It definitely isn’t arguable,
just look for all the clues.

My brother’s a charver,
he has a Berghaus coat.
The worst thing is he thinks he’s hard,
and loves to try and gloat.

My brother’s a charver,
Henri Lloyd, Fred Perry and bling.
Standing on street corners,
dissing everything.

My brother’s a charver,
drinks and smokes and swears.
Has to be a label
in everything he wears.

My brother’s a charver,
he has the golden chain.
The one thing he doesn’t own
is a normal, human brain.

My brother’s a charver,
he has the usual ASBO.
Earned from mugging OAP’s,
and vandalising the Metro.

My brother’s a charver,
a Daddy by sixteen.
Only remembered the condom,
when the baby’s head was seen.

My brother’s a charver,
has a gang of mindless friends.
Doesn’t have emotions,
he only ever pretends.

My brother’s a charver,
doesn’t know how to speak.
A fully English sentence,
takes him nearly a week.

My brother’s a charver,
he loves senseless songs.
There is nowhere in society
where my brother belongs.