Mr. Baggot Poem by Laurence Overmire

Mr. Baggot is a very successful man
Stocked and bonded, nouveau Richelieu
Belongs to the club, leisurely suited
To playing golf and drinking iced
Tea with just a hint of lemon.

His conversation, properly edified by a prestigious
Eastern school, revolves around the
Pressing issues of the day:
Why, for example, must a grilled cheese
Sandwich be outrageously priced at
Three dollars and ninety-five cents
When a slice of cheese costs only a nickel?

Summoning the waiter with a demanding
'Hey you! ' nameless, faceless lad
Who nods submissively to the
Punishing invective, assures Mr. B
He will not be charged, offering
Profuse apologies for slandering the
Integrity of his wallet.

Satisfied, the Baggot snorts through
His nose, relishing the spoils of
Another three dollars and more
Out-classing the opposition with the sheer
Force of a dominant will.

'Heh, heh, ' he chuckles
Laying down his napkin
Leaving a quarter as a generous

Tip.


(Previously published in CER*BER*US, XXXIXL, July 2000)