Mounting Fiercely Poem by Lonnie Hicks

At fifteen I met her and knew
she could have blown out my candle
with a single puff,
but I'm sure the thought never crossed her mind
that was the mark of her-
such was her total immersion
in being
not in judging herself
against others
that made me want her
her beyond wanting
even as she
grappled with
those 16 year old hormones of hers
in which she saw
18 years olds as fascinating
while I languished
in the cute-but friend-zone
looking to free myself
from that prison
and make her see me otherwise
even as I clutched her
in my nights
in my dreams
wondering how to make her see me
as other than a kid
not yet a man
who had for her
penetrating desires
despite that younger brother image
who might by luck
or circumstance make
her see how
I could gather those
spring bud
breasts of hers
into a bouquet

give her Jane Eyre
love
make her loins
sing
and her mouth melt-
something her 18 year
old knew nothing of
while I
posited with her
an intense heart that bespoke
Devotion
even as she
peered past me
at Unattainable Manhood Boy
who made her feel weak inside
while I only offered her non-threatening
little brother love
who while cute
was only little brother
trapped forever in little brotherhood
non-sexual
non-interesting land

even as I fiercely contemplated
mounting her skies
and hearing her
declare
that I,
I was the only one
forever.

Ah, junior High.