Mother Poem by Neena Change

Maybe I should be grateful
Because of you I learned to fight
But even though I'm a fighter

I am still fearful of you
I've seen the destruction you can do
I've felt the sting of abuse

Your shadow covers everything
As far as I can see
The illusion of happiness is
A control mechanism you use on me

No matter how much I love you
You are toxic
You will never be happy

All this hurt and mistrust
Surfaces again as lust
Lust for adventure, attention and thrill
I'm done with being ill

You've caused so much pain and misery
Even I could not see
So this is how it has to be

You stole my childhood
My tenderness, my innocence
There's nothing left but
Hatred and bitterness

I thought I had escaped
But all you do is take
I'm drowning in this lake
Of emptiness

For so long I tried to make you happy
Only now do I see
That you need more than just me

I can no longer bleed
I have nothing left
Not a drop to spare
Or I will be dead

So I decide to kill you instead
Wipe away all the memories
All the lies and stories

Though I hate to leave you behind
It's the only way I can survive
I'm left raw and bare
Is my future spared?