Valerie Dohren

Silver Star - 3,183 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

Mirage


There are only shadows –
no substance
to an evaporating world.

Time has etched its purpose upon my soul,
eroding away all vestiges of hope,

and life has written the score
of a melancholy tune
upon my heart.

The way forward
is now obscure –

for the path is overgrown with weeds
and bracken.

Yet

looking towards the sun,
do I see a new dawn on the horizon,
a world of promise?

Through blurred eyes -
a mirage unfolds

in the distance.

Submitted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, July 24, 2013

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Comments about this poem (Mirage by Valerie Dohren )

  • Gold Star - 9,730 Points Heather Wilkins (8/8/2013 6:42:00 PM)

    there is always hope for tomorrow. through blurred eyes a mirage unfolds. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 532 Points Juan Olivarez (8/7/2013 8:18:00 AM)

    Valerie, no matter what type of poetry you write, you have no peers. I love this piece. Thank you for sharing, and for your friendship. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 19,179 Points Valsa George (7/31/2013 8:04:00 AM)

    At the end of the tunnel there is light! A new dawn waits to be unfolded! So dispel all gloom and look Eastward! ! As ever, beautiful! ! (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,650 Points Dave Walker (7/30/2013 12:37:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem, there is always a way forward, we sometimes just
    have to take a different path. A great write. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 534 Points Chandra Thiagarajan (7/30/2013 10:10:00 AM)

    Mirage is a beautiful write, VALERIE! VERY DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL POEM WHICH I ENJOYED! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,229 Points Thomas A Robinson (7/30/2013 1:36:00 AM)

    Stare at something hard for long enough and you get..
    Distortion visually a wavering of the molecules you can get a...
    Dreaming of dreams far to long denied you get...
    Making rthyms of rhyme for the mind you get ... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,523 Points Godfrey Morris (7/28/2013 7:05:00 PM)

    Good write Val. Hope springs eternal. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 347 Points Danny Draper (7/28/2013 6:14:00 PM)

    Uncertainty is perhaps the most honest expectation, if one has expectations at all. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,898 Points Hazel Durham (7/28/2013 2:06:00 PM)

    With no hope to start with, then a new dawn shining to bring light to your life!
    Vibrant, deep and superb write! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 43 Points Adheez Van Der Beanthz (7/27/2013 7:45:00 AM)

    very good write Val
    wondeful imagery make this poem alive
    thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,223 Points Anthony Di''anno (7/26/2013 10:07:00 AM)

    Oooh I really felt this one Val. What options do we ever have that amount to more than get up or give in? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 442 Points Yasmeen Khan (7/26/2013 3:03:00 AM)

    Sometimes hopelessness sits in our hearts and the path ahead blurs but any mirage can be a pool of water. Your ideas are expressed beautifully in metaphors and images and hope shines bright in the end. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points G.R. Gaus (7/25/2013 11:00:00 PM)

    Without hope of a brighter future we have little to look forward to and even less to live for, perhaps the mirage is a good omen, nicely written...... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 9,730 Points Heather Wilkins (7/25/2013 5:55:00 PM)

    a very good write Valerie. through burred eyes a mirage unfolds. good quote. enjoyed (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,751 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (7/25/2013 4:41:00 PM)

    The way forward
    is now obscure...
    Eyes are blurred when you look toward the sun. Maybe the mirage will get clear and a path to a green land will be seen. Thank you for a nice poem posing the problem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 284 Points Joseph Anderson (7/25/2013 2:26:00 PM)

    A mirage that may transport you into a shangri-la land of fine poetry. You can do it with your
    glorious sonnets, just believe (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,330 Points Sandra Feldman (7/24/2013 9:49:00 PM)

    I love how you can so easily switch from a much more classical style to a very free and yet still poetic form. Some modern poetry is like prose but this, your Mirage certainly is not like prose. Mirage communicates, as poetry should, the deepest feelings where words, thoughts and vivid images come together as one., using a personal form for it all. Very nice (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,354 Points Patricia Grantham (7/24/2013 9:28:00 AM)

    Where there is life there is always hope. Just like a dream can be true
    to life so can a mirage be too. Never give up hope. Good write. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,244 Points Pradip Chattopadhyay (7/24/2013 5:29:00 AM)

    we need them, even if they're just mirages, in order to survive. Amazing poetry indeed! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 339 Points David Wood (7/24/2013 5:10:00 AM)

    I hope your new dawn is not a mirage and that it is full of hope. (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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