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Valerie Dohren

Freshman - 1,953 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

Mirage


There are only shadows –
no substance
to an evaporating world.

Time has etched its purpose upon my soul,
eroding away all vestiges of hope,

and life has written the score
of a melancholy tune
upon my heart.

The way forward
is now obscure –

for the path is overgrown with weeds
and bracken.

Yet

looking towards the sun,
do I see a new dawn on the horizon,
a world of promise?

Through blurred eyes -
a mirage unfolds

in the distance.

Submitted: Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, July 24, 2013

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  • Rookie - 363 Points Juan Olivarez (8/7/2013 8:18:00 AM)

    Valerie, no matter what type of poetry you write, you have no peers. I love this piece. Thank you for sharing, and for your friendship. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,300 Points Valsa George (7/31/2013 8:04:00 AM)

    At the end of the tunnel there is light! A new dawn waits to be unfolded! So dispel all gloom and look Eastward! ! As ever, beautiful! ! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,408 Points Dave Walker (7/30/2013 12:37:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem, there is always a way forward, we sometimes just
    have to take a different path. A great write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 781 Points Thomas A Robinson (7/30/2013 1:36:00 AM)

    Stare at something hard for long enough and you get..
    Distortion visually a wavering of the molecules you can get a...
    Dreaming of dreams far to long denied you get...
    Making rthyms of rhyme for the mind you get ... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 134 Points Danny Draper (7/28/2013 6:14:00 PM)

    Uncertainty is perhaps the most honest expectation, if one has expectations at all. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,757 Points Hazel Durham (7/28/2013 2:06:00 PM)

    With no hope to start with, then a new dawn shining to bring light to your life!
    Vibrant, deep and superb write! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,498 Points Anthony Di''anno (7/26/2013 10:07:00 AM)

    Oooh I really felt this one Val. What options do we ever have that amount to more than get up or give in? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 154 Points Yasmeen Khan (7/26/2013 3:03:00 AM)

    Sometimes hopelessness sits in our hearts and the path ahead blurs but any mirage can be a pool of water. Your ideas are expressed beautifully in metaphors and images and hope shines bright in the end. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points G.R. Gaus (7/25/2013 11:00:00 PM)

    Without hope of a brighter future we have little to look forward to and even less to live for, perhaps the mirage is a good omen, nicely written...... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,541 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (7/25/2013 4:41:00 PM)

    The way forward
    is now obscure...
    Eyes are blurred when you look toward the sun. Maybe the mirage will get clear and a path to a green land will be seen. Thank you for a nice poem posing the problem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 139 Points Joseph Anderson (7/25/2013 2:26:00 PM)

    A mirage that may transport you into a shangri-la land of fine poetry. You can do it with your
    glorious sonnets, just believe (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 7,440 Points Sandra Feldman (7/24/2013 9:49:00 PM)

    I love how you can so easily switch from a much more classical style to a very free and yet still poetic form. Some modern poetry is like prose but this, your Mirage certainly is not like prose. Mirage communicates, as poetry should, the deepest feelings where words, thoughts and vivid images come together as one., using a personal form for it all. Very nice (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,244 Points Patricia Grantham (7/24/2013 9:28:00 AM)

    Where there is life there is always hope. Just like a dream can be true
    to life so can a mirage be too. Never give up hope. Good write. (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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