M/D Ramblings 107 - Sarcasm And The Word F*ck! Poem by bradley blue jay phipps

“Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky

“I tweet from bed. I love it because it's so quick. And it's funny. But it also leaves a lot of room for error because new people don't sense the sarcasm - there's no sarcasm font.” - Christine Teigen

“Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.” - Ford Frick

F**k. I just want to go ahead and get it out of the way. I really have no need or excuse as to why I have used it here, but the overwhelming desire, the craving, to say it has consumed me for more than a week. To paraphrase, George Carlin, it is such a word to be used in certain situations, and should be stored methodically, with tender care, on a shelf till the moment arises when it is the only, and, just right, utterance for that particular moment. Hitting a thumb with a hammer comes painfully to mind.


(I did not find a quote I thought worthy using, f**k… F**king sad, really, so I will use my own.)


“I feel trapped in a situation, a world, without light. My only weapons at this particular moment are a spark of sarcasm and the tinder that is the word, “f**k! ” - bradley blue jay p.


I do not normally curse anymore. I am educated* so do not need to, but, mostly, it has come from age and respect for those around me. That and not drinking alcohol. A hard drink always fueled my moral temper to a disparaging low simmer that shook the top of the kettle. When would I explode? Being taught to rage at an early age by a woman who lost a daughter at the age of 3, while alone in a hospital room, there was a forgiving excuse, I suppose. But no. There really is never an excuse, as rage is abusive to others and to oneself. Rage is a learned behavior and takes much time to unlearn. Cursing is the same, and is really, at it's core, laziness.


I still feel it coming on at times. Today while walking, Riley, he kept wandering off where his nose would lead him. By the end of the walk, I was totally annoyed and could physically feel the anger welling up. This on the second day in over 2 weeks when the sun was shinning. Nuclear winter had passed for a little bit today, but I was out of sorts. “F**k, Riley. Would you stop it! ” or, more truthfully, 'Riley, stop being a f**king dog! '


Sarcasm is also something that is a learned behavior. We all know the meaning and origin of the word, but it is something I have tried to stop doing. I have been successful for the most part. I still go for the laugh at times. In jest, per se. A verbal prank. Still it is at someone’s expense. On the whole I do not mind being the butt of such camaraderie, but there are cultural differences one must take into account when traveling or communicating through out the world. There are things I cannot say, since I am a WASP in America who lives in the south. The word, “n*g*er” being one of them.


It is a disparaging word and rips flesh, quite literally, if we care about the sum of our relatives in the history of the world. I have no knowledge of any of mine being slave owners, but I will not use my tongue as a cat of nine tails. It is one word I have used audibly a handful of times in my life, and never in front of a person of color. I will admit here this day it was out of fear. Evidently, Hispanics have taken the word to heart, as well, in their hip hop and rap music. I listen to neither. I still don’t get that, though, using the word to emulate yourself.


I am an adherent of what you put in your body, mind and Spirit manifests itself. There is sarcasm running a muck in the central nervous system of our society, and those we influence around the world. I still believe in volume control and discretion. The ability not to infringe, and the respect of others over self, which is why I get frustrated when sarcasm or the word f*ck come so easily to my mind and mouth.


As for fear to use the word, “n*g*er, ” in front of a person of color, I heard a news report on NPR recently about a woman of color, who has done a lot of research into relationships between white police officers and black men. Many white police officers admitted to her that they were afraid of black men. Afraid of the physical altercation which might come about when trying to enforce the law. It makes sense to me, but no one wants to admit it publicly. The young Mr. Brown was shot and killed by a smaller white police officer in, Ferguson, Mo., while Mr. Garner died from a choke hold used by a smaller white police officer in NYC. I think it is a problem when policemen are put out on the street by themselves. One officer in a car. Then again Mr. Garner was surrounded by several police officers. Mr. Brown was a big black young man, and Mr. Garner a big black man. But that cannot be an excuse. In both instances cooler heads needed to prevail. Both by the police, mostly by the police, for they are charged with exactly that in their duty to serve and protect, and by anyone stopped by the police.

My second wife and I were traveling to New Mexico several years ago when we were pulled over by an Oklahoma State Patrolman. State Patrols are a very military form of police, in my opinion, not that that is a bad thing, but it is a narrow mind set. She was placed in the officers Suburban full of weapons and a large German Shepard. A vehicular prison with weapons of fear surrounding her. His comment to her was, he knew where the weapons were in his truck. He was much smaller than I am, and he had a partner with him that day, still fear played out. Most state patrolmen ride alone on our federal highways. I think this is more dangerous than a city, secondary to how far away medical help and back up is, if something bad were to go down, and we all know how much, “bad, ” is riding around out there on our interstates.


There is so much to be said about the division of the races here in America and the world. I did not even touch the surface with my few words here, and there was absolutely no sarcasm intended. The deaths of Mr. Brown and Mr. Garner are tragic, as all deaths are. I will be honest in that I do not know all the details from either of their deaths or the circumstances surrounding them. I am not against the police, either. As a paramedic for several years, they would be my personal body armor when going about my duties. I have nothing but respect for them and honor them in my heart for the sacrifice they and their families make everyday.


Where am I going with all of this? I don’t really know. There has been too much in my mind over the last few weeks, and I just needed to express them. Sarcasm and the word, “f**k, ” always seem to be precursors for a lot going on in head and heart that is troubling and out of my control. Ebola, Syria, ISIS, government, insurance companies and mental health to name just a few.


My birthday is next week, as well, and I will be spending it at work and then alone. I do not mind this, but the heart does long for touch. I’ve always hated my birthday being this time of year. I thought it was because Christmas being so close, but it’s the darkness. I go to work in the dark and leave work in the dark. It’s been so very cloudy during the day. I have been eating fast food, because I do not want to go to the store after work in the dark. What goes in comes out.


It is a dark world out there, and seen through the news, it is in a state of anarchy. The inability of our Congress and Senate to work together only furthers this dilemma way beyond America's cities and borders. When they, our two political parties, do work together, as in the spending bill just passed, the American public is going to need an extra jar of Vaseline. We're going to get butt-f**ked for sure.