Luggage Poem by Kirsty Higginson

Today is the day I tried to leave you
I'm sorry but I think we both know
that this action has been loitering.

I am sick of us fighting
and being told what
is wrong.
You shadow me,
and make me feel
so bloody
small.

I was always told
to be ambitious,
and to aim high,
yet now you
tell me that
everything I have
strived to achieve
just
it isn't
good enough.

I, like many,
have made bad decisions
throughout the course
of my mapped out life
you don't remind anyone else
of their mistakes
or imperfections.
Only me.

Now those moments
cascade out of your mouth
Permanently carved, etched
onto the wall
of my past
used against me
mocking what I
once thought
best.

I am not sure
who I am any more.
If I know how
to love you.
I don't even think I like you.
I have tried so many times
to leave you,
in my bravest moments
I thought I could achieve it
but I always run back
tail between my tired legs.

One thing is certain.
I need to step away from
this mirror.
Self doubt
is killing me.