Lost And Found Marriage Poem by Oscar Mireles

lost and found
could apply to my marriage

I was afraid of losing my former live-in girlfriend
when she talked about going to Miami for Christmas
the winter of 1985.
I thought it was a good idea
until we talked about it
again
a couple of weeks later
she said she had purchased her tickets already
'and did you get me a ticket? ' I inquired with a broad smile
'I didn't know you were going...' she replied
and it was not the answer
I expected to hear

and I remembered thinking long
and hard about it
afterwards
she was from Colombia
and had not been home for over two years
and our relationship
which had been going pretty good at one time
was now at that stage
where either
you go all the way
or just go away

and I thought
if she made it back
to Miami
where she started her visit to the United States
it was only a three hour plane ride to Colombia

and the only thing holding her back
was a security deposit on an efficiency apartment
and a just above minimum wage job
at the local Head Start Program
and me

and while a job and security deposits
are hard to come by these days
I didn't feel I had enough glue
in my heart
to keep her from leaving
once she had a head start

so I ordered tickets the next day
and we spent the holidays
with a young Colombian couple,
Maru and Guillermo
who were recently married and had a 13 month old son
who was the most adoreable child
at the most precious age
at a critical time
in our relationship

and after
one of the warm winter Miami afternoons
that we babysat him
I got up the courage to
ask her
to marry me
and she said 'yes'

and now 18 years later
after spending
way too much time
trying to do things
to not rock the boat
it happened anyways
and
I lost her

and I found
that being afraid to lose someone
was not the best reason
to marry
even in Miami.