Lose? Poem by Marbet Daniel

I lost it
it all got lost
it seem not to have ever existed
i do remember having it
and now i don't have it
i try tracing my path to no avail
pondering close to surrendering
yet not an answer I get
it was a source of smile
it could take away turmoil.
that major source of happiness
it grew dry
that channel that drove away pain
has been fully sediment-ed
i enjoyed the work i did
i was challenged by theirs.
but i lost the definition of me.
i hate it to say i was...
i hate the-was...
i haven't said- i would have
could that be the point i went astray?
it could be,
a means to say i ought to...?
a pointer to- i should never...?
an eraser to the- was?
the starting point of- i am...?

oh! did i write something? may am lost altogether
AND MAYBE YOU CAN HELP......