Valerie Dohren

Veteran Poet - 2,713 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

Lie With Me


Lie with me
in a golden field of sun-ripened corn
beneath a beckoning sky

We shall listen to the gentle breeze
rising and falling, rising and falling
in sweet crescendos
synchronised with our love –

whispering, whispering

Lie with me
we shall seal our togetherness
with moistened lips
and eager breaths

before the falling of the sun
and the coming of the mellowing night

Submitted: Sunday, May 12, 2013
Edited: Monday, September 16, 2013

Form:


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  • Rookie - 181 Points Joseph Anderson (5/24/2013 12:37:00 PM)

    Ah! Free verse that says something with great sweetness and purity.A body with soul.
    So beautiful in expression. If you can can do this well without rhyme, so let it be.
    WORTH AN 11 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 649 Points Paul Brookes (5/16/2013 3:06:00 PM)

    exquisitely executed piece beautiful and tender by turns 10/10 Thanks for sharing BB : O) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 934 Points Unwritten Soul (5/14/2013 5:54:00 AM)

    Surrendering dark for a fresh hope, that what your poem sounds...so gently come and convinced heart to calm Val_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 41 Points Pops Wynn (5/13/2013 1:51:00 PM)

    Now that's what I'm talkin about, love, love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 15,003 Points Valsa George (5/13/2013 7:17:00 AM)

    Before it is too late, let us hasten up! sealing the togetherness with moist lips and eager breaths''.... An intense romantic aura surrounds the poem! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Allemagne Roßmann (5/12/2013 5:22:00 PM)

    Its an exquisite composition and pleasure reading through.Its also the title of a British English film featuring love stories of London and the percussions of togetherness of an english woman who by chance fell in love with an english man in club, took a job for a family dream but the man was in the turmoil of womanizing and a decision hard to reckon with for a family.Watched that in 2008 and that too in London itself and tried to experience the pain and pleasure.Your poetry added valour and voice to the feminine character. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 93 Points Payal Parande (5/12/2013 7:55:00 AM)

    oh my! how wonderful, every time i read your poem i feel like i have flow to the heaven and angels are singing a breathtaking melody....amazing mam bravo (Report) Reply

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