Treasure Island

M.D Dinesh Nair

(Thrissur/Vijayawada)

Kushwant Singh's Jokes Off The Sardarji Track..


Kushwant Singh usually cracked jokes on the Sardarjies of his own Sikh community..

But here are a few jokes he has cracked off the Sardarji track...
These jokes based on how Indians use ungrammatical and funny English have been reproduced in different forms on various pages...

1. An employee applying for two days leave of absence wrote like this - Sir, As I am going to a crematorium and may not return, request you to declare two days holidays..please.

2. Another employee wrote asking for three days leave of absence - Sir, I am going to dispose of my village land along with my wife and so grant me 3 days of leave.

3. A school student who applied for leave on account of illness wrote to the Head Teacher - Madam, As I am studying in your school, I am suffering from a head ache and fever and please, grant me leave for two-three days.

4. A man proposing to conduct his daughter`s marriage at home wrote to his friend - Though I am somehow trying to marry my daughter at the earliest, my wife is delaying it hoping to get her nephew`s nod to marry her, What shall you do?

5. A visiting English language expert read this line written on a black board in an Indian school -'UNITTED WE STANT, DIVIDED WE FAL'
and asked angrily, ' Who is the English Teacher here? '.Pat came the reply from a teacher, ' Sir, I is the English teacher'. Then the shell shocked English expert wondered back, ' Are you the English teacher? . At this the English teacher gave his reply, ' Sir, I are the English teacher'. The fuming expert shouted, ' Get out' and the English teacher said to the students, ' You all get out'....

Submitted: Friday, March 21, 2014
Edited: Friday, March 21, 2014

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Topic(s): humor

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Kushwant Singh`s Jokes are universally enjoyed especially his Sardarji Jokes.

Comments about this poem (Kushwant Singh's Jokes Off The Sardarji Track.. by M.D Dinesh Nair )

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  • Diane Hine (4/2/2014 6:18:00 AM)

    Some people who only speak English make mistakes like these too! English has some funny rules and bizarre spelling. Thanks for the laugh. (Report) Reply

  • Ramesh Rai (3/31/2014 3:52:00 PM)

    Infact english is itself a funny language. we must not astonish if the coming generation writes D instead of THE, N instead of AND. due to its elasticity it is popular n funny. it is the master language for science n technology as well as for legal matters. i have heard from so many high rank officer of principal rank saying 'dispose of job'just like dispose of wife. More funny to note when it is being replaced by HINGLISH etc.Thanks for share. (Report) Reply

  • Rajesh Thankappan (3/21/2014 12:20:00 PM)

    Kushwant Singh had a great sense of humor. The jokes you cited is an ample proof of that. May his soul R.I.P. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (3/21/2014 7:39:00 AM)

    This is no exaggeration at all....! As teachers we come across more interesting English usages and expressions in the answer sheets of students.... After valuing the answer sheets... I used to develop a problem with my spelling and grammar!
    Kushwant Singh no doubt was so famous for his witty writing. Enjoyed... but couldn't roar into laughter as I have heard almost the same or similar ones...! (Report) Reply

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