Gabriel Forrester

Rookie (July 29,1989)

Knocking at the Doors


You are the same through space and through time
The most beautiful of things I believe to be thine,
But how is it you are so far away from me?
And why is it I struggle, to bridge the gap in between?

It is clear to me, I am not seen in your eyes,
But still in my soul I struggle and I pine,
To bring my soul close to one such as yours
To knock on your heart, and have you open the doors.

And when the doors open and it is me that you see,
Will I be let inside, or will I simply be,
Turned away from your heart, and bid never to return
Forever on the outside while inside I still yearn.

Yearn for the gaze that turned my heart into stone,
Then stole it away and kept it hidden so long,
Till at last of myself, there is nothing I see,
For it has been replaced solely with an image of thee.

When I saw you that day the earth ceased its rotation,
Time also stopped and has yet to move again,
So now I am a man, caught in between times
Forever still yearning for a love not mine.

So I try for a way to break this ice,
And burden my soul for a plan to contrive,
For now I believe if I just once take your hand,
It will be the fire in the soul needed to melt this man.

So to your heart I go again,
And knock in hopes of being let in.
Now it is for you to decide,
If in your heart is where I will abide.

But even if the doors are still closed to me,
I will wait right there even eternally,
Till you see that truly my love is best,
And I am preferred far above the rest.

So I will keep knocking till the end of time,
Till my own heart within yours resides,
Till I'm so close that I feel you within,
Till the two that are twain, become one person.

Submitted: Monday, September 02, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, September 03, 2013

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  • Rookie Gabriel Forrester (11/4/2013 8:30:00 AM)

    Thank you for the comments everyone. It's interesting to receive feedback from people I've never met before. It somehow seems more... truthful. To set the record straight. I am still knocking, haven't been let in yet. However, that's fine. Im cool with it. I very much appreciate the positive comments. Its all a writer wants to hear really. That people got what he was trying to say. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Zak Pearce (11/4/2013 7:03:00 AM)

    Verrrry good :) For an amateur poet, you pay great attention to structure. In terms of constructive criticism: paying attention to meter and rhyme is often a good way to improve on an otherwise brilliant poem. Keep up the good work! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kat Hylkema (10/21/2013 7:22:00 PM)

    You're the same through space and time.
    It's good, Gabe! Although knocking can get mundane, don't stop believing. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 11,060 Points Ramesh Rai (10/13/2013 3:56:00 AM)

    So I will keep knocking till the end of time,
    Till my own heart within yours resides,
    Till I'm so close that I feel you within,
    Till the two that are twain, become one person.
    a touching write (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,120 Points Khairul Ahsan (9/8/2013 1:38:00 AM)

    'Forever on the outside while inside I still yearn.'....This line really touched me. Over all, this is a lovely poem on love. If the situation described is autobiographical, I only hope that it catches the attention of your target audience and motivate her to keep her doors ajar. (Report) Reply

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