Kigo Entries (Versions) Poem by Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

Kigo Entries (Versions)

Rating: 5.0


White bunny
shadow on snow scares
running rabbit

Version One*

The yellow
lotus rises
the stars crown

Version Two:

the yellow
lotus rises
starry night crowns


Version one*

green reeds
turn brown
Summer Sun smiles

Version Two:

nodding green reeds
turn brown
Summer's Sun smiles


Version one*

rainbows color
red to violet
dance from clouds

Version two

Rainbows colour
red follows violet
dance from clouds


Stealing night
dreams claim souls floating
like angels


timid ivy
chatters to stone deaf
granite walls

elderberry flowers
bees buzz
my wine

Version 1*
Twirling umbrella
pandas dance
splashing rain

Version 2;
My umbrella twirls
black and white pandas dance
splashing raindroplets

Thinking caps in flight
jubilant graduates cheer
high expectations


the old wooden post
leans splintered covered by last
year's vines this year's blooms


Fall's dusty apple crop
lost to silver mildew bane
Podosphaera Lencotricha*

*scientific name for powder mildew which infects apple trees


Version 1*
Crescent Moon sails
on a starry boat cloud
across Summer's sky

Version 2
A starry boat sails
in a sea of clouds guided
by the crescent moon

Version 3
Indigo fingers
weaving silvery moonlight
shines on white sail boats

Version 4
A thief in the night
stealing starry sailors' dreams
cloud boat floats aloft

Version 5
Carina's star keel
graces the Southern Cross caught
by Midnight's anchor


Crows ride the maize in
the old farmer's zigzagged maze
buttered corn awaits


Hunger's gnawing bite
during the Lenten fasting
chocolate-egg dreams

White spectre
fog enshrouds
weeping angel

Taking steps
towards open doors
school bell rings



Just for fun you can let me know in the comment section which version of the haiku designated by an *you like the best.None of them won anything but I thought I would include these min-haiku gems here.These are my entries in the st-kukai@haikuworld.org monthly contest.

I add my new haiku after the contest voting closes.This way I can keep them on PoemHunter for people to read..

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Maria Barbara Korynt 10 April 2009

Very much subtle you are writing. I like it. Thanking for your commentaries, I will leave three mixy (haiku) written for you - on the basis of your miniatures. It is your, but differently it I wrote. I am greeting. :) Maria Barbara Korynt ------------------- 1. the yellow lotus grows quickly crowned by stars shining on the sky 2. nodding the green reeds and now, turn brown in the sun, it smiling summer 3. dreams claim souls floating in the fresh colours rainbow chatters to deaf stone

0 0 Reply
John Weber 07 April 2009

For me, I enjoy the wording of the #2 varients, Lorraine, but such matters are only bound by selective taste. The flow from the colorless hidden to the colorful obvious moves me to appreciation of the nuance and the evolution evident in nature. Humans never blend so adeptly to our surroundings! Warm regards, John.

0 0 Reply
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success