Kids' Stuff Poem by Lone Dog

(On Devil's Night)


Quick! Inside the house! Dim the lights!
Lock the doors! Stay out of sight!
'Cause old man Taylor's on to us.
He saw us when we egged the bus.
And Mrs. Jones, that bag of bones,
Knows we bugged her on the phone.

I wonder what will happen when
Our parents hear from Mr. Glenn
'Cause we put Ex-Lax in the tea
Of dear old teacher Miss McPhee?
'Twas soon she had to leave the room,
Returning not all afternoon.

I hope that you'll forgive us Lord,
But, after four, we got so bored
We tipped an outhouse upside down
Then ran like blazes back to town
Because we knew that Farmer Sweet
Was parked inside upon the seat.

I fear the cops will catch us all
For scribbling on the old Town Hall,
Then tipping up the garbage can
Behind the house of Mayor McMann;
And throwing stink bombs through the door
Of Mr. Maynard's General Store.

I wonder if we'll go to Hell
For ringing old man Morgan's bell,
Then, when he came to see who's there,
Shooting spitballs in his hair?
And for telling Mrs. Zack
Her husband had a heart attack.

Who's that pounding on our door?
Nosy neighbor Mrs. Knorr?
I'm sure her pride's been hurt somewhat
Because my B.B.'s in her butt.
I know she likes to rat on me;
I only meant to hit the tree.

Sh-h-h! Don't make a sound! Stay out of sight!
Pretend there's no one home tonight!
'Cause if we're caught, they'll cook our goose
And stretch our necks in a hangman's noose.