Just What I Desired Poem by Ernestine Northover

That's life, ... so often what we desire isn't meant to be. Brian

I t seems you have about as much luck as myself Ernestine. A lovely poem, top marks. Love, Andrew x

Technically speaking it is the heart and soul of a poem that matters and not the technical speaking. Brilliantly done the new occupants were not the only ones who have been moved here, Love Duncan

Words well spoken; to fall in love and be heart-broken. My sympathies! - chuck

Ernestine... Below I copied and pasted your poem and made some editorial suggestions I would personally employ. These are only my opinions and need not be used if you feel differently. dan 'House for Sale'(.) is what the notice said, (I would eliminate the '.') I looked at it, then the name, I read, The telephone number I noted as well, I thought I might give them an early bell, And find out (just what) price it was they'd set, (I'd replace 'just what' with 'the') And if it was possible, then I could get, This place for a reasonably low outlay, I'd better sort this venture right away, Cos this was (just) the house that I desired, (I'd eliminate 'just') As I stood there(,) and so much admired, (I don't think you need the comma) The neat front (door, the porch) and windows tall, (door; porch) The clematis growing (wild) along the wall, (I'd remove 'wild') This would (just) suit me well, it's really fine, (I'd remove 'just') Excitement shivered up and down my spine. Then just as I turned and was about to leave, A van drew up(,) and (now I) had to grieve, (I would lose the comma and reverse 'now I' to 'I now') For on the notice board in letters bold, They nailed (a horrid word, it) stated 'SOLD! ' ('the horrid word that ') Ernestine Northover

'The best laid plans of mice and men are often gone astray, ' said the poet, and how true to life that is - just when we have our plans all made, Pow, Alice, right in the kisser. Ha, good write! !