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Jealousy

Jealousy is an ugly ugly thing.

I never had long brown hair and my eyes have always been the blue you hated most.

I’ve never been small or adorable and my boobs have always been nearly non existent.

I drank too much when I turned 16 and smoking became my vice even earlier than that.

I never sang in the church choir, but I prayed every night until my knees were black and blue.

God, if love was real, make me pretty like she was to make him want me too.

I hate every spot on my body that make up can’t cover and I don’t have the money to surgically change the shape of my silhouette.

If there was a way to grow these blonde locks faster, I guess I haven’t found it yet.

I never once claimed to deserve you. But I hoped you would accept me anyway.

And the nights like this drag on and on, as I lie in bed awake.

I heard she got engaged. I heard they were married. I heard now he’s happy.

And me?

I stand in the mirror’s reflection pulling my hair to reveal my scalp wondering if my brain lies underneath…wondering if I moved quick enough, if you would lose me like I lost you…like we lost the dream..like now it’s too mature to be considered anything.

Submitted: Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 11, 2013


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