It's Just My Heartache Poem by Neo Patricia Monamodi

She smiles and laughs
She says, 'you see me with your naked eyes only in the outside,
Deep in here there is a hole and shock I hide,
It bothers me not except when my eyes are open wide.
One summer morning I dressed as a loved bride
Then he pretended I don't exist and kicked me aside'
She smiles and I look at her confused.
'It's just my heartache'

She smiles and laughs
She says, 'You see me smile in the crowd and make jokes
Telling stories i was told by old folks
You laugh because you think it a hoax
And I laugh because every night my pillow soaks
I could have seen how behind my back he burst into laughter until he smokes'
She laughs out loud leaving my brain Topsy-Turvy
'Worry not it's just my heartache'

She smiles and laughs
She says, 'you see me making creation of me and him.
It means nothing it empties only my heart and fills my soul to the brim.
I tried the heart doctor to get some massage cream.
It does nothing but just wake me from rare sweet dreams.
He writes me letters of apology and kisses me thinking I hurt not it seems.
I should have turned my head from his suggestions to be a team'
She smiles and laughs leaving me perplexed.
'It's just me heartache'

She smiles and laughs
She says, 'you see me getting agitated at these stupid chatters;
The baby I carry is mine to raise, though sometimes it turns me into a hater.
I cook no revenge to serve him in a platter.
Other days I wonder if the punishment really matters.
We carry a baby, we both know about but it will make his world and mine shutter'
She smiles and laughs leaving me confused
She says, 'it's just my heartache'

'I would make disappear the tenderness of it if I could;
Turn this recreation into just a make believe misunderstood;
Except when I wake the reality of it cannot be ignored as it should.
So I leave the smoke of weed above my head to float.
Being too high for any day till this baby maybe dies is the best I do'
She smiles and laughs leaving me Topsy-Turvy
'Sorry, it's just my heartache'

'All I say is, condemn me not for these pencil strokes.
The blackness of which represent this heart of mine is no joke.
However, reason that you see this baby will be you injecting me with coke.
I will have to be drunk for you to dress him with your cloak.
Hope with the guiltiness of your heart you marry and in immense joy soak.'
She smiles with tears in the eyes
This time I see the pain behind the façade
I wish for her this baby of theirs just dies... ©