Allan Gerard


~Is Faith Stupid~


Gasping, I awoke in a craft-matic adjustable nightmare
My mummified magnificence weighs me down
Sinking deep into this depression and the feathers
That encompass the entirety of my being

What the hell is happening here on earth?
I mumble to myself while staring at the ceiling blocking
My view to the heavens, open the windows I cried!
And immediately retracted my statement back as fast...

As I could hear the workers in their hard hats whistling Dixie
At what I can only imagine is some vixen on the way
To the bus-stop followed by the sound of the nine to fiver's
Poking holes into the gods footstool while blaring holy diver
On a sound system that no man should have

In walks my mother with a priest who swears...
That he will cast the paralytic devil from my
Broken earthly vessel as he looked me over and said mhmm, I cringed
Sadly though, partially paralyzed, I was in too much pain to laugh

Here I lay, trying to jog through my memory
At what landed me in this situation to begin with
Ah, yes, my imaginative feet weary as I recall a leap of faith
Quite literally, figuratively and simultaneously expressed
I leapt from my plane of existence and landed in this predicament

So there I was sitting in a wheelchair at the mall where
I could feel the pitied hands flow through the eyes of a
Thousand onlookers massaging my ever so limp
Noodle like legs beckoning me to walk again

Under the microscope of there habitual stares
I was boiling over from within and wheeled myself
To the descending escalator that from the ground up
Measured about 40 feet or 4 stories At best
I read that if I had the faith of a mustard seed
I could Move a mountain

I believed it and said to myself I'm gonna wheel
My handicapped helplessness over the edge if
What I read was true my legs on instinct will walk again

I started to count down and realized 1 would never come
So I just did it and in that brief moment the world around me
Froze as I fell through time and it didn't take long before
My mouth was cursing mustard seeds, mountains and the brain within my
head the whole painful way down

Now I'm not saying faith is stupid
But what I am saying is
Trying to trick gravity into
Breaking the laws for faiths sake
Isn't quite brilliance

Submitted: Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Edited: Thursday, February 20, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Irony, Humor and Religion. It's not the recipe for baking a cake
But, it is something.

Comments about this poem (~Is Faith Stupid~ by Allan Gerard )

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  • Aftab Alam Khursheed (3/28/2014 9:18:00 AM)

    interesting, a teaching away from the silly dogmas, Wonderful poem.beautiful lines and beautiful calm and placid thought (Report) Reply

  • Geetha Jayakumar (2/24/2014 8:56:00 AM)

    A Wonderful poem. I loved the beautiful lines...
    If I had the faith of a mustard seed
    I could Move a mountain
    Very true said in the last stanza. Faith is not stupid but facts cannot be overlooked either..
    Your poems are quiet interesting to read. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (2/23/2014 10:15:00 PM)

    Wonderful write....! The pungent irony and humour are so manifest, that this poem will make anyone chuckle to himself...
    The last stanza is brilliant.... but unfortunately Faith and Reason (here laws of gravity) are not compatible companions! It is evident that you had a grain of doubt even before your leap.....! ! (Report) Reply

  • Hazel Durham (2/23/2014 9:08:00 AM)

    As always so interesting and original with thought provoking lines of a story so well written with such panache! (Report) Reply

  • Fiona Schwartzinoff (2/22/2014 3:11:00 PM)

    For some reason, it reminds me of the joke about the man stuck in a hurricane and refusing rescue because G-d was coming to save him. lol Interesting read, as always. :) (Report) Reply

  • Neela Nath (2/22/2014 6:45:00 AM)

    I read that if I had the faith of a mustard seed
    I could Move a mountain- - - - -are my favorite lines now.Thanks for sharing Allen. (Report) Reply

  • Terry Craddock (2/21/2014 6:10:00 PM)

    An incredible write, I also have long past written on a mustard seed, have been struck paralyzed, left lying on a road unable to move; tried to get up and failed. Then screamed in my mind, you said get up and walk carry your bed, then in fear rage shouted demanded my miracle in my mind. Then tried to get up three times, after being struck in the back and right foot; by a roo bar on a four wheel drive, in Jakarta Indonesia, while riding a motorbike. Fell each time. Then got up on the left foot, looked down noticed my right foot was 90% displaced to the right, reset it immediately in fear, stood picked up the bike, bent handlebars back into almost the right position and rode away. A later scan showed lowest 3 vertebrae were crushed and distorted in my back, almost no spinal fluid getting through, after a few months rehab, stretching the back on locked in a machine unable to move. Interesting hospital staff were afraid of me, said I should never have been able to get up, let alone walk. Two years wearing a back corset with metal bars followed. People sometimes do impossible things in crisis or need. Miracles half miracles are medically impossible to define? Life chooses also pose difficult solutions sometimes. Enjoyed your biography Allan, many of us make similar dissimilar journeys, especially certain artists.10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Susan Lacovara (2/21/2014 8:07:00 AM)

    Having been through the ongoing suffering of physical pain, I too, connect with that mustard seed installed faith...your poem delivers an in depth look at the irony that religious belief heals all... yet, still I am shackled to hanging on. A masterful write, and yes, I can hear the mumbled swearing as well. Thanks for the signpost steering me here. PEACE (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (2/21/2014 12:47:00 AM)

    Ah-ha. You caught my subtle allusion to the priest swearing. Priceless, wasn't sure if anyone would pick up that before getting to the next line but you did. I Can always appreciate when people can pick up the subtle things I do in my poems. Good stuff! Allan Gerard~ (Report) Reply

  • Nika Mcguin (2/21/2014 12:18:00 AM)

    Pure awesomeness~ I do so love double entendres so of course I loved the lines:

    Here I lay, trying to jog through my memory
    At what landed me in this situation to begin with
    Ah, yes, my imaginative feet weary as I recall a leap of faith
    Quite literally, figuratively and simultaneously expressed
    I leapt from my plane of existence and landed in this predicament

    But the part that really made me chuckle was:

    I read that if I had the faith of a mustard seed
    I could Move a mountain

    It really is ridiculous that kind of faith, but at the same time I envy people who have it. Though honestly it sounds like the speaker had alot more than a mustard seed of faith in order to do that lol.

    In the line:

    In walks my mother with a priest who swears

    I thought for a second there that the priest was was really cursing. Maybe that was just a hint about his true nature though - intended or not.

    I also loved this verse:

    So there I was sitting in a wheelchair at the mall where
    I could feel the pitied hands flow through the eyes of a
    Thousand onlookers massaging my ever so limp
    Noodle like legs beckoning me to walk again

    Its not double entendre, but it has enough imagery to make me love it.

    And these lines:

    Now I'm not saying faith is stupid
    But what I am saying is
    Trying to trick gravity into
    Breaking the laws for faiths sake
    Isn't quite brilliance

    They're definitely the funniest part lol. Also, I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't say that there are no miracles in this time; but I would say they've become less flamboyant and more rare. (Report) Reply

  • Shania K. Younce (2/20/2014 10:23:00 PM)

    It is a wonderful piece. I quite enjoyed it. I really like the whistling Dixie and In walks my mother part. My favorite part of this poem the priest said mhmm. Bien! (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (2/20/2014 8:30:00 PM)

    Thanks Reyvrex, your words are very insightful as it goes along with what was written as the afterthought of would could be considered a modern day parable told in a humorous ironic fashion. =) Allan Gerard~ (Report) Reply

  • Reyvrex Questor Reyes (2/20/2014 8:21:00 PM)

    It's been said, Do not tempt the Lord, your God. So even if you have a faith as big as mountains, do not tempt God to move a mustard seed by it. Let alone gravity. Do not believe Satan who says God will cause angels to hold you up lest thy foot be dashed unto stones. Jesus, the doer of miracles chose do as God willed, on His own time. It is ironic that God always let us alone with our free will, while we wish Him to interfere. And so anyone who wishes to jump from precipices to commit suicide will always have their intention fulfilled. Great poem. Your recipe of Irony, Humor and Religion is something. It aligns with what authors have for a good write, namely, Sex, Mystery and Theology. (Report) Reply

  • Savita Tyagi (2/20/2014 9:59:00 AM)

    Enjoyed this poem. Really laughed through last lines! Faith is great and so is logic! Keep your balance! Thank you for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • Noreen Carden (2/19/2014 5:04:00 AM)

    I could feel the pitied hands flow through the eyes of a thousand onlookers what a brilliant line. Alan I enjoyed this poem very tongue in cheek humour.As always good job (Report) Reply

Read all 18 comments »

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