Internet Dating Poem by Gary Michaels

Internet dating it's popular now
to meet someone normal just let me know how
tried it all last year and none did i meet
held up their photos but passed in the street
it went something like this i hope some agree
this new style of dating does nothing for me


Surely that's not her this photo she's blonde
my good god it must be i think i've been conned
but what can i do now, she's looking my way
please no it's not her i hope and i pray

went for some coffee, quick chat and a talk
after 5 minutes just wanted to walk
she starting by saying she had a few cats
the number was twelve or something like that

was told all their names her best one was dave
she said he liked dancing you should see him rave
i smirked at my visions of dave the black cat
blowing his whisltle, under his floppy hat

managed one coffee then made my escape
i got out of that one a lucky escape
saw her last sunday she just waved at me
i rounded the corner and started to flee.

----

I'd taken no notice when looking at me
it just cannot be him he said fourty three
i'm sure he said dark hair, he hasn't got none
never athletic, even if loosing three stone

my god it's that photo, i had taken last may
he's holding up now and looking my way
i should really turn, go somwhere and hide
it's much to late now he's here by my side

A coffee and quick chat and make my escape
make up some rubbish get out of this scrape
my god he is listening attentive and keen
i named all those cats from one to sixteen

now tried to sound mad and naming one dave
he said somthing about cute, hearing he is my fave
mentioned line dancing something he loathed
but now looking slyly, no doubt it's me, naked unclothed

he's finished that coffee please get up and go
don't ask for my number your chances zero
saw him on saturday half turned and a wave
i shot round the corner i'm not feeling brave