Jeremy Patnou

Rookie (11-16-92 / Huntington Beach California)

In The City - Poem by Jeremy Patnou

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Walking along these city streets
Seeing people busy
Pacing
Each with their own itinerary
Cracked city sidewalk
Aged city structure
Smoggy city air
Going here, getting there
Never seems to be a minute to spare
As cars stream along
Arteries of streets, the blood flow of the city
The machine is breaking down
Gradually
The cracks and leaks slowly showing
Urban decay
Coupled upon
Moral collapse
The path, which I tread
Is laden with traps
Waiting to destroy me
The city is dirty
A crowded cacophony
A droning noise
Always there and never gone away
The city is our cage
We the animals
Are under its oppression.

x Angst x


Comments about In The City by Jeremy Patnou

  • Rookie - 0 Points Matthew C. L. Pratt (5/21/2009 4:22:00 PM)

    Very well Structured, keept it up. (Report) Reply

    6 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Rookie Greenwolfe 1962 (2/24/2009 12:14:00 PM)

    Poems need a strong ending. The last three lines make this poem. Without
    those lines it is nothing but a recitation of city agony. I wasn't sure where
    the writer was going. I was relieved to read those lines.

    GW62 (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, January 19, 2009



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