In Between Poem by Suzanne Hayasaki

Stuck here between what was and what is to be,
I ponder, wandering through the poppy fields of fixation
With their intoxicating pollen that drugged me once again
Into believing I was safe in the arms of a fellow soul.

Stuck here between the Rock of Gibraltar and your equally ungiving nature,
I wonder whose idea it was to throw me into your cove,
With its riptides and jagged rocks
Hiding just beneath a serene, blue-green surface,
As each strong stroke of my arms,
Each swift kick of my legs, carries me further out to sea
In search of a desert island
Where, alone, I can finally find some peace.

Will I set up home somewhere far from the maddening crowd?
With only the voices who really seem to care as company?
Do I dare deny my destiny?

How could I?
Why would I?
What would be left for me
But a living death,
Wondering what might have been
If only I had found the courage to face my fate.

So as I float on my back,
Allowing the salt and the sun
To act as a balm to my bruised ego
I gaze into an embracing sky
And just float like a lonely cloud
Letting the tide take me where it will
Knowing it doesn’t really matter.
Wherever I am, I am exactly where I need to be.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I will face.
Whoever comes my way, I will embrace.
As the cycle begins again.
As endless and rhythmic as the tides themselves.

Eventually, I expect to be dashed against your rocks again.
Probably in a tempest of epic proportions.
But next time, beware!
I will be prepared!
I will sail to your shores unscathed
And raise my flag
Claiming you in my name
Forever!