If It Was'T Rape Poem by Ramona Thompson

Dark rewrite of New Edition's If It Isn't Love

He did't rape me
I tried to tell myself
But I can see it in my haunted, tortured eyes
I can no longer deny
I can't fool myself or anyone else
The truth is clear in the tears that I cry tonight cause

If it was't rape
Why do I feel this way?
Why are those brutal memories always ripping their way through my mind?
If it was't rape
Why does it feel so bad?
Make me feel so sick inside
If it was't rape

He told me that it was just a rough, really rough act of love
But something inside of me knows better

How does it feel?
To be quite honest
I can't even begin to describe this awful feelin'
That came after he was done with me last night
Somehow he got to me
I just wish I knew the reason why
Maybe, just maybe, it's all my fault
'Cause he saw me with another guy

Chorus

Maybe someday I'll be able to pay him back
Get him back for the damage he's inflicted
Someday, someway
Gonna have him begging on his knees, please
Girl, I made one hell of a big mistake
Oh yeah, I'll make him feel it
The pain, the shame, the heartbreak
All of it
Just like I felt it
'Cause
My God
I can't
I just can't ever forgive him
'Cause he did
He really did hurt me
Break me
Like no one else ever had before
Broke me

It took one night, one night of unforgetable violence
To shatter my soul into a billion million pieces
Before I'd ever realize
Before I'd ever understand just how cruel, damn cruel this world could be
Lost my innocence
Helped my heart to see that

Chorus

2008 Ramona Thompson