If Heaven Will Have Me Poem by Timothy Long

I feel the drought, that you brought about, a little insanity trialed, boiling down to a minute of hatred, love is pointless by now, is it the mentality that everyone is going to cry, or maybe is it the mentality everyone's gonna die, the blood, the screams, and the ogglie things, the suicide of one was the killer of two, as no one could replace you, for the ashes of God's wind did blow away, I'm not good enough anyway, just know I didn't leave, you pushed me away, thought you would care my mistake, I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for what I did, I'll never be the same again, the people who mind don't matter... Guess no one matters, I loved her with a love no one could show before, the best proof my trust, how can I live to die tomorrow but learn to live forever today? What a down without ups, we're just living dead, this is what I deserve and I'm ready to except as I have for years, to me the world is a harsh cold place, sensations of the eyes drown me, not even love could avoid this love, I need a light to brighten my dark world, a thousand glass shard blue broken, what a way given to go, what a a way to go, love was the most famous obstacle in my life, it broke to much, I feel nothing anymore, Stirling in my own hell, when thought of suicide strikes you well, engage in no further nights ticking away awake, write down this suicide on pen, making many survive a day more, let these thoughts get many through the day, why would a god do this? because of 'man' this view... god is dead! it can get you but not me, im suicide itself, just a thought, just an idea, my being, my world, will disseaper just like suicide does, write, then cry.... prove your alive, if so, you should be fine! its hope, thats what i am, know i am always there, pecking you like a windy breeze, protecting what you still have left, this gravity is hard working against me, let luck continue on me, i dont need this burden for life, please god please, just wanted to let you know, you were a great delight of mine, always the black sheep and never the white lamb, is this a sham? the rain came and went, as his shadow crumples into thin air!