If Anything... Poem by Carlos Gutierrez

If I had love,
I would breathe a kilo tonne of carbon monoxide particles.

If I had good looks,
I would jump down a building and drown in a sea of jagged rocks.

If you ever loved me,
I would abandon you, without a doubt. Then I would cut my throat.

If I had happiness,
I would cry,
and then I would kill myself.

If I had something to live for,
I would throw myself into a pit of acid.

Then I would reach my own special Nirvana.

If I had riches, and gold, and emeralds, and rubies, and sapphires,
I would throw myself into incoming traffic.

If I were cursed and damned to hell,
I would wait.

If I had you,
I would kill you, then I would eat ten casks of aspirin.

If I had intelligence, honor, or a sense of humor,
I would starve myself.

If I had any of those things I wouldn't be writing this.