Idea Or Feeling? Poem by Ben mcelfresh

I sit here and question it all
I question everything i know
Where does it all connect?
When will it all make sense?

I'm not sure what i feel inside
I'm not sure about what the feelings mean
I try to sort them all out
Try to make sense of it all

I analyze how each one makes me feel
Yet i begin to think it's not what i think
The idea is what seems to satisfy me
Not the feeling itself

The idea was so far gone for them
To resurface feels great
But it's only the idea of the feeling
Not the feeling itself

I'm only in love with that idea
The idea of having it all again
But my heart doesn't desire it the way i thought
My heart only desires what i miss

So i must further analyze this
Is it really just the idea or a real feeling
My heart is so confused
Everything i've missed i have the chance to have once again

But for the idea, would not bring satifaction
I need to full feeling to fulfill the idea
One alone will not make me happy
But this search continues