I Wish I Was A Donut Poem by Crystal Midnight

Why do people have to butcher the original poem. Taking something and adding tweaks is still stealing and show the lack of originality. Be proud. So proud.

Hi CRYSTAL - I have commented on SIX - ELEVEN and written you a note to congratulate you - just for being you. I have scored you a ten for DONUT because it is a POESIE JOLIE (a fun poem) we need more of those on Poemhunter! When we listened to JFK's speech in Berlin on June 26 1963 (a little before your time - I was 30!) we were surprised to hear him say ICH BIN EIN BERLINER instead of ICH BIN BERLINER. The latter means I am a Citizen of Berlin - what he acctually said is I AM A DONUT - ein Berliner means a DONUT in German. However we all loved JFK and forgave him - because he had taken the trouble to address the besieged Berliners in ther own language! I love donuts and at FAIRS & OPEN AIR SHOWS in the UK we always have a Donut Stall selling fresh made donuts with jam - cream - cinnamon - YUMMY. Your poem accurately describes the Donut and how lovely they are - forget the calories and just enjoy! I do Children's Talks at church and wanted to use the Poem in the Service and tell them about you life story from 6-11 and the other information you have provided. Donut is lovely and lots of fun but to be able to recite it, with flow and rhythm, it needed a little tweeking. So what did I do? 1. I didvided it into four equal stanzas, each with five lines to give it STRUCTURE. 2. I adjusted the length of some of the lines to give it METRE. 3 I made LINE 2 and LINE 5, in each verse, RHYME to give it a consistent RHYMING PATTERN. 4. I added your last line 'I wish I was a donut - dont you! ! ! , 5. My version is no better (and no worse) than yours it is just easier to read and much easier to recite. Personally i believe a POEM only exists AFTER it has been recited to an audience! Here is my tweeked and recitable version. VERSE ONE - Five lines Lines 1,2,3 - as written Line 4 Squishy JUST like cookie dough Line 5 AND FEED YOU in a most delightful way! (Rhymes with day in line 2) (Omit line six!) VERSE TWO - Five lines Lines 1,2 - as written Line 3 To slide into your mouth Line 4 And slide right down your throat Line 5 And then right down into your tum (rhymes with FUN in line 2) .. VERSE THREE - Five lines Lines 1,2,3 - as written Line 4 Such a treat to eat Line 5 My taste is really so supreme (rhymes with CREAM in line 2) VERSE FOUR - Five lines Line 1 - as written Line 2 I'd be candy to a cop Line 3 A sugar sweet - right for a child Line 4 A door into my most sweet world Line 5 I give delight and I will never stop! ENDING for emphasis when reciting! I WISH I WAS A DONUT - DON'T YOU - WELL DON'T YOU? ! ! ! ! ! Try reciting my version and you will see what I mean! Love in Poetry - JOHN (Hope you are not mad at me for TWEEKING!)