I Remember Poem by raff rafael

I remember all the women who liked me,
But I pass them by,
Reason why,
Because I held too much anger inside.
I remember when I use to get drunk behind my mommas back.
Laying on top of my car holding of large vodka bottle in silent’s staring at the stares.
I remember how I had the right words to say to start a conversation with women I meet.

I remember all the hidden times I cried,
Because deep inside I felt so weak.
I remember the smiles I would see on the face of my X fiancé ever time I held her in my arms.
I remember the days Thug Life made my way,
But now all that I remember are technically gone.
No more I see the women who wanted to be with me.

No more I wait patiently for nightfall so my momma could sleep and I could sneak outside and began chilling with one family getting tipsy.
No more having the right words to say to the lady who allows her smile to connect with my eyes.
No more I cry hidden tears,
Because I feel forever so weak inside.
My X fiancé is long gone.

She moved on away from me.
Even though now she claims she misses me as her Phoohbear,
I wouldn’t be her lover again,
Because she has a different stare.
Meaning her vision and my vision are two different,
But I’m there for her only as a good friend.
Thug Life isn’t any more my slogan.

I ceased my poetic cursing and my alter ego Nocee,
But I still love my old school family.
I was born again and a positive future is starting to make sense to me.
I thank Jesus Christ for delivering me.
Society is crazier then ever.

I remember back in the day I would fight society back as a mad fearless rapper.
I created a army and a music my space fan base,
But the Lord allowed my own label teammate to try and kill me.
My teacher who was a hood gangster lady also wanted to kill me.
I was hurt,
But I remember how I told her “ only God can destroy me”.
Now I contently shed invisible tear drops,
Because the good times in my pass are calling.
Today love confuses me,
So it’s clear that Satan misses me.
I don’t care how Satan feels.

Satan shouldn’t have never turned on the Father of all fathers.
God allows Satan to use my own righteous prayers against me to see if I would flee my Father.
I remember the flooded nights that I would pray in the rain of a storm.
I remember Jesus’ parable,
With faith in him no storm can cause me harm,
Which is so true.

Christ Jesus my Lord and savior you know how I love you.
Do you remember the love letter I wrote about Amber,
But sent it to you spiritually?
Do you remember the times I missed church on Easter,
Because your love threw her made me a little bitter and our Father made lighting strike right outside of my room window?
Jesus it’s funny now,
But I was scared back then.

I repented for my sins then midnight I seen you raise the dead back to life on television.
About 2 hours later my niece woke up and out of the blue being amazed by the mercy of you I told her all who loves you isn’t dead,
But only asleep.
Later that night surprisingly my same niece received a phone call from her daddy side of the family saying that her father was found murdered,
So he’s gone and deceased.
I remember the last thing he said to me,
Which was “ Rafael you’ve been a good uncle to Desiree my baby.

Keep teaching her about God,
Because lately I haven’t been the daddy she needs me to be”.
Recently my other niece father also was murdered in the middle of the street.
Hopefully he’s sleep,
But he might be dead by the type of life he led.
Lord give him mercy please.

My brother asked “who’s next“?
Only God knows since the end is unpredictable I continue to ask for forgiveness every signal day of my life as I grow.
There’s so much more to express,
So more poems will be born if it’s the Lords will.
I remember of day dreaming about having a wife and a daughter or a son.

I remember my praying prayers.
Lord how come all of this you allow me to remember?
Sometimes their blessings,
But I also can remember how my memories hindered me emotionally I think.
I know endured misery brings wisdom and Gods wisdom is the key to His kingdom.

I remember how testimonies heals those who prays for mercy.
The poetry God gives me is created by my painful and blissful memories.
My reward for enduring threw trails and tribulations are love messages from Jesus to the lonely hurt communities.
Holding my own cross it self is a blessing,
Because out of all I remember Gods merciful acts for our salvation.

I remember them.