I Now Confess My Sins - Poem by Don Nguyen
Running back in the misty rain, I have planned to say many things
Now here I forget what I want to say
What do you expect from the old man like me
Even he still can jog, fall in love, but he is tired and old
Anyway, I like to get some personal matter out of my chest first
At the beginning, I really liked her but you came and she left
I fell in love with you because I thought you were another her
Who wrote like me, who prayed like me
So I fell in love with a carnal girl for a spiritual girl
While I left the spiritual-carnal one walking away for many years
Now she came back but my heart had belonged to you
And I recently realized the one I truly admired was the one
Who kept screaming that I loved the wrong girl
I fell so bad because we had so much in common
But you are still the one who really love me and love me second or first
So confusing but now I hope I have straightened all out for at the end it's just hopeless and endless mess and agony
for I hate divorce and I can’t love all three
so either I hang myself on the tree for I didn't listen to my brother Lauren
For he always screamed his head off saying, ' look at me, look me, '
“for you will be sorry, they always want first your heart then they go for your head.'
Did you say something like that, Lauren?
Thank you, friends for listening to my mess
The bottom line is that I can't love all three, so I love none at all
Maybe not settled; you ladies decide on my fate.
Warn you, I got no passport nor money for my wife holds the bank
All I have is my black knapsack, my tennis shoes, and few dollars
Now may I attend to other business.
First, all my dear friends, I feel really embarrassed of what I had said about you
So I don't know if you can possibly forgive me for me to come back
I am so sorry acting like an idiot or child- idiot
I am truly sorry, and should go wash my heart and mouth with Ivory soap
I will try to make it up to you by composing from now on with eyes open but my mouth shut
I will try to be kind and gentle, sweet not like an angel but like a saint
Not St. Jerome though, but more like St. Francis
who had prayed many times that he rather consoled than to be consoled
To bring peace than enduring turbulence
I will serve you as long as you need me
Hopefully some day you find a new love in your heart
Until that day comes, I solemnly promise that I will serve you
Hope and pray that my poet in me will not die soon
Till this very day, I wonder why you love my writes and later the terrible-two me
Why do you try to make your life miserable by inviting me back
And I don't know why we fought so much
We love one another to death but we fought like dogs
We cried, we laughed, we praised, we jeered, we scolded, then we forgave
Summing up, we are a typical modern family who love but can't stand each other
All that means that we are stuck with each other until death does us part
For we are now separated but we both don't believe in divorce
Now, at this moment, my head is all foggy, and my heart heavy, so I just leave decision-making to you
Whatever you decide I will submit myself to abide
Treat me like your little brother, not like big brother
I talk big but I am small, shy, and very meek and timid
And I also envision that you will help me to create a beautiful meadow with blue flowers
With your creative nobility and independent sophisticated or puristically simple
Like the first days that I came here, wandering around by myself until Gaj and three she-s noticed
What a lucky lad or the less-lucky lad
Anyway, you just make up your mind or not making your mind is still fine
For we can just live one day at a time to see how our future shapes up
I still compose and contribute, and submit at our site
Still read besides write, maybe not much read
But please treat me like one of the guys, not someone you cannot touch
I don’t know what is wrong with me but the more attention I get these days
The sicker I get, I am really serious.
Hope there is nothing wrong with me
I cry a lot.
And I love you.
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