I'M Sick Poem by Jake MacMillan

I'M Sick

Rating: 3.0


I’m sick of this day,
I’m sick of this week
I’m sick of the words, you chose to speak

I’m sick of this school,
I’m sick of this town
I’m sick of everyone pushing me around

I’m sick of the girls, turning me down,
I’m sick of still looking like a clown

I’m sick of this life,
I’m sick of the time
I’m sick of being forced to stay in line

I’m sick of the lies
I’m sick of the hurt
I’m sick of the pain of being treated like dirt
And do you want to know what makes it worse.

I do almost everything to try and impress
the way that I act and the way that I dress
I’m sick of everything that I chose to do
I’m sick of everything, especially you.

Thursday, May 29, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: life
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Tim Kitchin 29 May 2014

I like this, Jake. The rhythm and the momentum towards the end. Only silly suggestions: maybe break before last two lines? Maybe 'And do you know what makes it worse...' is a separate line on its own? ...which you could then use as a mandate to loose the rhyme scheme entirely for the last stanzas if you wanted. I love the balanced echo of the opening of I chose' in the penultimate line. I would have considered 'us' as an end word with even more counterpoint/punch/contrast, but that may not be true to this spirit. It's a very controlled poem. Nice job!

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