I'M Only Eight…international Day Of Innocent Children,4 June. Poem by saadat tahir

saadat, I agree with Bob and Linda. It is great poetry for a great cause. CP

very nice poem Saad really lovely it touchhhhhhhhhhed me -10 anjali

excellent poetry and very touching

FromAlmedia Knight (Brooklyn United States; Female; 74) To: Saadat Tahir Date Time: 6/13/2009 12: 51: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00) Subject: I'm only eight..International Day of Innocent Children,4 June Hi, I had to bring out all the tools-which I don't have a lot-for reading and understanding this heart-wrenching piece of work in search of the truth that a society's young and old endure- which is a universal truth. This poem interweaves several themes: aggression and or suppression of others or conditions placed upon a people by circumstances beyond their control.By using a freshness of perception (' Each side carefully must I look. Furtively search for the hook' I was quickly caught by these two lines. What striking images were painted by the interweaving of social, economical, and a cultural- good, bad, indifference. Economical usage of language and pleasing rhythms to my ears. Well, doctor, I'm giving you a 10+++. I hope you enjoyed writing this great poem as much as I did reading it! with much Regard Almedia

Its a timely piece of rejoinder - Uprooted trees left to burn Age of toys, toiling. Conflict wounds and kills Minors coiling at mines Kneel down at gunpoint of X Crumbling and sinking, none to feed Sick and dead live together Is there a hope to better? This is a point of Poignant. Melting point...still the head reels Reasons fail to reckon... Why...so? Enjoyed the read. Thank you.

If you are going for an american then don't use nicked me glass that's english slang. Listen to some Biggie Smalls, tupac etc, also lil wayne for more recent american street slnag. Also go for less commars in sentences. I would have said she didn't have much to say and and no but next sentence, it's good doesn't need it. She seemed distant, taut. No need for we lost tim etc, it's implied by next line. Back here hitch? Pounding heart i must go, Back here ditch? ? Not sure why you used hitch Don't use Pa or Ma, white trash america. Love the line mom is out there, i'd go for tied to the stake. Implies drugs, prostitution which i believe you were going for. I would also leave out the last two lines. My opinion only. I'm going to read some of your work about your country. You can write. Samantha

dear saadat, a highly emotional and a passionate write, about the young generations problems.their innocense is lost in exposure to a world, not meant for young children to face.yet, it is their world.lovely poemsaadat.best wishes. ritty

'Like the kids, at high school dunk. Pa left us months; for her sake. Now mom is out, there at stake' i like this part! i luv ur poems and this one is very amazing!

Furtively search for the hook. Each side carefully must I look. Is there a cop in my sight? Is there a route for my flight? precious word gift in the form of poems on international day.. lovely write... good presentation.. read mine child, school, and teacher no please....

this is very beautiful writing....