I Lost Myself Long Ago Poem by nicola burkett

I lost myself long ago; I don't think I can come back
The effort and energy of self will is what I seem to lack
I have no hope about my future, any dreams of whats to come
I just sit and put pen to paper and write till I’m comfortably numb
My words to me are personal to others just worthless ink
But in order for me to stay sane I have to write down what I think
If I keep my thoughts bottled up too long inside my cluttered brain
The voices start to scratch inside and slowly drive me insane
Like an addiction I can't seem to stop writing
It seems the only weapon to wound the constant demons i am fighting
I lost myself deep in a crowd only my eyes can see
I lost myself long ago as salt water tears flowed into the sea
While people move past it seems I’m standing still
I have no desire to move since I lost my last dropp of self-will
I open my eyes and there's nothing there, nobody to help me through
Since the day I lost myself, was the day that I lost you.
But if it wasn't for the pen the weapon mightier than the sword
I would either be six feet under, or sectioned to a ward.