I Know What It Means To Be Alone Poem by Leah Ayliffe

I know what it means to be alone
These days it's all I know
And I wonder if it will reach an end.
It's not the way I used to breathe
With easiness and love
I can't call it living free
I think I'm dying in my mind.
My essence is caught, tangled and twisted tight
Can I make this house my home
When it's only a mess of sad strangers
Haunted with regret
Always putting on a show
I used to love putting on a show for the world
It's killing me in the most uncreative fashion.
I just want to sing my song
Run through the airwaves in harmony
Dance around this paradise world unchained
48 hours out of 7 days
The kindness of strangers ignites my soul
And sets my mind on fire
Then I am truly free.
48 hours.
To charge my battery, I need an overcharge
It is not always enough.
And I die, I think I've died
A thousand deaths
Have I been driven alive far more?
Sometimes I bleed the fairy dust that used to always run through my veins
But most days if I were to cut my skin, there would be nothingness
A hollowness, emptiness,
It came to a stop.
I never thought I'd be the kind of kid to say
I don't want to be alone,
But I'm lonely in the worst way.
I want to find my way home to me
I want to find my way home and stay.