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Freespirit Juneja

Rookie (09 Aug 1983 / New Delhi)

I Kept On Walking


Fixing my eyes at the bewildered world
Striving to be a free bird
Keeping aside all the herds
Becoming a man who does the talking
I kept on walking

My aims were like a beautiful sky
Its zenith required more than a try
Ordeal ahead was free from lies
Had to finish before this soul dies
My honest deeds were doing the talking
Without a hush, i kept on walking

Leaping all the tumbling stones
Beaming despite breaking my bones
Need to cover the journey alone
Seeds of success were sown
Deafening the simpleton's mocking
I kept on walking

Suddenly, my journey got tied
As if my life had jived
Beside me danced my bride
Surprisingly, found noone by my side
New foundation need to be laid
All my aims got flayed
Problems after problems kept on flocking
But I kept on walking

My life became totally shallow
Dragging into deathly hallows
Then the god brightened the day
When my baby had the say
Negating being its ultimate prey
I started the journey afresh
Keeping all my aims suppressed
I kept on walking
Till the heavens came knocking

Submitted: Saturday, March 10, 2012
Edited: Sunday, June 10, 2012

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  • Rookie - 15 Points Swetha Vanakayalapati (6/29/2012 7:44:00 AM)

    My aims were like a beautiful sky
    Its zenith required more than a try
    Ordeal ahead was free from lies
    Had to finish before this soul dies
    My honest deeds were doing the talking
    Without a hush, i kept on walking

    My life became totally shallow
    Dragging into deathly hallows
    Then the god brightened the day
    When my baby had the say
    Negating being its ultimate prey
    I started the journey afresh
    Keeping all my aims suppressed
    I kept on walking
    Till the heavens came knocking

    the truths set the tone of the poem which have been furnished with ease and the grief behind the dream and aim have worked out so perfect........right from your heart! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Erika Michelle (6/10/2012 2:16:00 PM)

    up in the third paragraph i reccomend you switch the wording to: beaming despite my breaking bones. just a little suggestion (: i enjoyed the journey theme, it's a good message, never let your head down. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Aman Sa (5/13/2012 1:33:00 PM)

    striking and powerful and a rhythmic song...much to provide...loved ur creation (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 840 Points Unwritten Soul (4/27/2012 11:48:00 AM)

    The will power in your body protect your soul to be durable in any condition, the sensation of self embrace even hurt or tormented bold but you still standing to keep walking....so never stop in any reason for your life move smoothly in any challenge in future. Beautiful write Sharad! ! ! ! _Unwritten Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Laura Nnamdi (4/24/2012 12:53:00 PM)

    Awesome! It really captivated me, nd am inspired. Keep on walking dude and never stop believing! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie teal Sky (4/20/2012 10:09:00 AM)

    the refrain of the poem is awesome, it rhymes, it conveys a message, it adorns the poem.
    and the message you've conveyed, i think is inspiring too.
    the poem gives a hint of self confidence while making a line with over confidence.
    you kept on walking,
    i say, you must keep on writing. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,963 Points Valerie Dohren (4/15/2012 6:12:00 AM)

    The poem is essentially very good - there are two words I would change, however, these being `gawking` and `nerds.` Perhaps instead of `gawking` you could replace this with `fixing`, and `nerds` maybe could be replaed with `herds` if you want to maintain the rhyme. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,304 Points Neela Nath (4/14/2012 3:06:00 AM)

    Life is a journey.woven with delight and woe.Whatever comes on our way we have to pass it. This is the philosophy of life. Very nice write! Good diction. Poetic vision? Aha! (Report) Reply

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