I Hate Myself. More Than I Could Ever Hate You. Poem by Erika Michelle

why is this so lucid?
i can see your face,
i can touch your hair,
your arms are around me,
yet..
you aren't here?
i wake with tears.
tears that stream down my face.
what if i could sing just one song?
and it would save somebody's life..
i wish for you here,

i hate myself.
i hate you.
i hate myself for loving you
when i should love someone else.

i miss you so much,
i'm tearing myself up inside.
when all i want,
is to touch your face.
sight is no longer acceptable
sound is.not..enough.
i want to touch you.
i want to close your eyes
i want you to stroke my hair.
sing me to sleep and dream of me
i'm begging you please
just please..
stay with me.

like the lullaby of sedated dreams,
i wake with only me.
i hear the last chimes of lost melody
floating off into the sea.
when you are near yet so very far
please carry me in your guitar.
for when i instill this hope in you
my soul has lost my value.
carry me on when i am gone.