I Hate How I Love You... Poem by Jessica Cummings

I hate how I love you
more than I should
when you're gone
Why didn't I love you
this much when I could?
'Cause now you're not here
and all I have are memories
that do not suffice
because I've made
the masochistic sacrifice
of my feelings for yours
We'll stay friends of course
or at least its what I'd like
Because at least if I can't have you
I like your influence in my life
But your absence leads to
reminiscence of time spent with you
and I can't go back to the
days I lived my life without you
Its just not the same
and it causes me pain
Many would rather
a love known and lost
Maybe I'm selfish
but I'd rather
whatever line by whomever
had not been crossed
or that we had never met
Because at least before knowledge
of your existance
I was content
in not thinking about you.