I Fell In Love With A Couch Potato Poem by Paul Lester

I fell in love with a couch potato
But it didn't have eyes for me.
I tried to talk about Marx and Plato
But it was deaf to philosophy.

I tried to engage it about travel and art -
It went as blank as any screen could be.
I endeavoured to give it a mental kick-start
But it preferred to watch TV.

How it required real cultivation,
Did it ever learn how it read?
With much regret I've reached the conclusion
My object of love is a weed.

The stuff upon which it will daily feed
Are quizzes, soaps, adverts and sport,
It's a love that has surely gone to seed,
Its mental challenge the weather report.

I fell in love with a couch potato
But it didn't have eyes for me.
Such vegetable love is doomed, I know,
That can only live for TV.

And so I've swallowed the unpalatable fact
And admitted this love's a dud,
And transmitted, with no regard for tact,
That it's blessed with the brains of a spud.