Ace Of Black Hearts

(04/17/1984 / Homa Lousiana)

I Don't Recognize Him


Ambition is the horse I rode for things that never came.
The foundation of change.
Dreams in a small note book thrown into the fire.
A backpack a little emptier.
Weight shouldered for way too long.
Voices in my head asking me was it really worth it.
Cast away.
A shadows dismay.
Fortunes shine even in a clouded ray.
Disassembled.
Breaking it all down.
Walking through a mirror backwards.
Reflections that consume.
Gloom disenfranchised.
Not part of upcoming story.
Faces no longer recognized.
A stranger in my own body.
Who is that guy.
Not me, not me.
Unending declarations with so little clarity.
The fog never lifts.
Choking on illusion that is not even mine.
Invaders of the mind.
The medication does not solve this disorientation.
Balance lost by the ear or foot?
Perspective in the form astral projection.
Look down on the inner being.
How can this be?
The man I never wanted to be.
But still here I am.
Squandered, minuscule, minute.
Raising my imaginary glass.
Cheers to the castration.
Emasculation.
Criticizing every decision I make.
Oxygen fed through the tube straight into my mouth.
I just need to breath.
For a moment.
Only for a moment.
This is the disclosure of all eventualities.

Submitted: Friday, July 19, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, July 23, 2013

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