Lawrence S. Pertillar

(February/'47 / Connecticut, USA)

I Decided To Affirm What I Wanted


With all things considered.
And less to reminisce,
That is remembered to forget...
The only focus I now have,
With a hope to keep...
Is on a deserved peace of mind.
To have come to be found,
When it came to me unexpectedly.
I decided to affirm what I wanted in my life.
And demanded in my life what I wanted made right.

I think I was then walking away from an ache.
A pain I was determined I was going to shake,
To seek more happiness for myself to find.
And I can not believe I use to perceive of this,
As a selfish activity I refused in my mind to accept.
I wanted more happiness and demanded that to get.

You know...
Some folks believe to grief for them is a blessing.
And when I confess this to God to be expressed...
About my being a trooper with burdens carried on a heavy chest.
God said to me,
'Blessings like that you did not from Me receive.
Who's been feeding your head with that kind of nonsense? '

But...
Aren't You God?
Don't You expect me to endure Your tests?

'Yes I do.
But I did not create you to endure pain.
I don't want you worshipping any other gods 'before' ME!
If you are not happy I expect you to come to ME 'first'.'

That's what I've decided to do.

'And it took you this long to do it? '

Submitted: Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Edited: Wednesday, February 12, 2014

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